Sunday, June 10, 2007
Miracles Do Happen
I know someone who is a walking "inferiority complex." Im not having a problem with semantics here. When i say "complex", im referring to a structure, a human being and not the inferiority complex as a trait. If others are too full of themselves, she on the other hand is so full with all the insecurities in the world. The way she stands and the volume of her voice say it all. She's got those potentials that remain to be untapped. Potentials that would come out only if she'll get rid of all her insecurities. If i allow her to keep up her inferiorities on the loose, this world will be one less of a good doctor.
Ive seen her compassion towards her patients. Ive seen her sensitivity to others that unfortunately has sometimes gone overboard. She has become too sensitive to what others might say about her. She has become too conscientious of her actions to the point that her performance suffers because of it. Her every move was always preceeded by hesitancy, afraid of what other people might think. She believed in what others might say that arent favorable to her. Ironically, she believes too in the goodness of man. She believed in other people more than she believed in herself.
She's not good-looking. Alright, let's say not presentable. She projects an image that's not noticeable for she doesnt want attention to herself. This struggle towards having a low profile however makes her more prone to others' criticisms. Curly, split-end laden hair, dull complexion, poor fashion sense, what have you? She has it all. Now add these physical attributes to her psychological make up and you're creating the living "inferiority complex" i previously mentioned.
Why am i blogging about her? The moment she became my intern, this girl has become a constant challenge to me. Ive seen a compassionate, would-be excellent doctor in her person. This will only come out though after you have made your way to her jungle of inferiorities. Thus, despite of my toxic life, i tried to the best that i could to trim down those insecurities that my "power" could remove. Ive spent time talking with her and discovered the root of everything after she had opened up. Her problem started a little more than a decade ago. She was even able to recognize what that was. Problem though, she reacted in a negative manner. Instead of taking those criticisms against her critics, she took it against herself.
She started to build a shell for her to hide into. She forgot her potentials, forgetting everything that she can do. And i hated her for this. Yep! I hated her for being so insecure. We are poles apart that's why. I dont know but i was never insecure of myself. Maybe we were just raised differently. I was made to believe not to feel inferior of other people in whatever position or status they may belong. They did not contribute to my well-being, nor even helped in feeding me and sending me to school. I need not please them but i must not also forget to respect them. I was made to believe that so long as i am not stepping upon somebody's principles and beliefs, i am not doing anyone wrong. Thus, i owe noone no shame.
This belief is what i have been wanting to channel to her. I have been wanting to help her lift herself up from the pool of insecurities that she has been swimming in. I am having a major project on her that im afraid, is more bound to fail than to succeed. I'll be helping out someone who's a few months older than i am in biological age but never in EQ or IQ. I'll be transforming someone who's used to the kind of life that she has for the past decades.
I know it's going to be a tough job. I believe though that there'll be noone who's going to be at the losing end. I'll be renovating a 29-year old insecurity complex alright, but if this is what it takes to develop someone who's going to save lives, it's worth all the pain. It's just that i'm praying for a miracle. In this age and time though, miracles still happen.