Saturday, September 26, 2009

His Own Perfect Time

I miss this blog and i miss posting something in here. It's just soooo perfect to post something worth sharing. You know after all my absence, I think it's fair to post something light and inspirational...i hope.

It's raining cats and dogs out there. I am alone for the weekend, homesick, bf-sick and literally sick. Yep! You've got it right. The doctor is sick. I'm nursing a flu and it's during these times that I miss Dr. Mom's magic touch. I wondered how that mentholated formula that mom would rub on my back and chest when I was young would take away my flu in no time. I never read that in my medical books and it was very effective for me.

Despite of the weather and being sick though, I wondered why I don't feel down. These times are enough to make me feel melancholic especially during PMS attacks. Maybe my hormones are in balance right now or maybe, I just feel sooo blessed to ever let myself go down in the dumps and be sorry for my current state. Bad things have been happening lately and yet even if they happened simultaneously, the Great Architect had His way to make things appear perfect. His grace has sustained me for the whole 7 months of my training and I couldnt thank Him more for that.

What's more? Things happen in His perfect timing. He sends in people, songs, movies, events or even just the rain to help me in my decisions. I could enumerate some of it and remembering them made me realize that the worrier-me need not worry anymore. Everything's all accounted for so what's the fuss of overthinking?

1. I'm running out of cash and i hate to withdraw from my savings account. I'm on my 7th month of training and yet I havent received my stipend yet like the other fellows. I've heard a number of cofellows who have been asking about it and I heard no good news. After all the toxicity, I'm on the verge of quitting. Strange however for yesterday, the first time that I called up the payroll section (i didnt sound desperate about the stipend and I'm sure of that.hehe), I heard the "bestest" news that I wanted to hear. I was already included in it! Now, I get to pay my parents for my loan and I get to buy the stuffs I've been wanting. Wohoo! After seven months of famine and 8 lbs lighter, I finally got paid.hehe

2. My PMS attack plus my runaway gf sickness accompanied by my toxicity at work made me unsecure in my relationship. I wanted to find solace by thinking that should I break away from the relationship, I can find it. Good thing morphine isnt that fickle-minded as I am. He didnt let go of me when i was slipping away. Several times have I attempted to run but things have been happening to keep me still. Consultants, a TV series or just a mere forwarded text, they all told me of one thing. Be still. Stay, behave, have faith, keep loving, savor the moment. The best advice came from my source of wisdom though, mom. Knowing how she adores Morphine after knowing him well and knowing how she supports our relationship, I had another reason to stay.

3. The rain, my flu, my homesickness, they all remind me that it's nice to be alone. It's during this time when I can find true solace and not from running away. It's during this time when I can meditate on my life, my goals and my future. For me to be thankful of all my blessings that I forgot to thank for.

Sometimes, I am an ingrate. My being too self-absorbed would remind me of my sorry state. I failed to realize that I am existing and surviving life's challenges because His grace has been overflowing and it never failed to sustain me.

"The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
-from a forwarded email