Monday, August 27, 2007

The Child Within

I dont know why im feeling this way. I just feel soooooo light and ecstatic. It seems that i also lost one thorn deep within. It really feels different when your prayer is granted. For you see, i just blogged about it this weekend and today, i witnessed what i wished to see. Need not tell the details but all i can say is that nothing's better than an honest and sincere communication.

How i wished i was back to the time when i was a kid. Kids dont keep grudges or resentments. When they would have arguments among their peers, they may punch each other or shout at each other just so to express what they really feel. A few hours or the most a day after, they're back as friends again as if nothing happened.

I wish as an adult i am like them too. What i couldnt understand is that as we grow older, we lose that child within us. Instead of becoming more courageous to express what we really feel, we tend to bottle up our feelings and in a way suffer with it. Must be the reason why there are a lot of us who feel unloved. Why there are a lot of misunderstandings that remained unresolved in time. Why there are a lot of relationships that were never patched up. Must have been our experiences of pain, disappointments and betrayals as we grow older that make us less expressive of what we really feel.

It's quite sad to know that it would take years for some to settle their differences or conflicts. I'm just so happy though that today, i've witnessed two mature individuals who set the child within them free. I wasnt seeing two adults talking rather two kids who were making peace with each other. Fact is, it only took them less than an hour to settle years of misunderstandings.

I always make it a point to listen to this child within me. She cries and she complains, everytime i carry something deep within that i couldnt express. Resentments, anger, grudges, they consume her. This is the reason i guess why most people i know find me confrontational or gutsy when it comes to these stuffs. I dont want her to carry that load. I dont want her to grow old and mature and eventually lose her zest for life. I dont want her to live on resentments and eventually realize that ive wasted so many years letting her live in such mess. I dont want her to lose her optimism and idealism. Life's always been unfair and without these, she might not be able to see its beauty. Life's really so damn short to live it in misery. Why will i spend most of it in pain or in suffering when i have a choice to live otherwise?

Sheesh! What am i talking about here? It's either i'm having a regression or i'm dying. Hmmm either way, i know i'll be dying in peace.hehe


snglguy said...

I guess I've lost that child within me. Because I still carry a lot of resentment, not to mention, grudges, against some persons that have slowly built up over the years...

vernaloo said...

yeah...why is it that it's a lot harder for us to express our emotions now that we're older. I guess we care more now? I mean when I was a kid, I don't care if you'll get mad at me, I will simply poke you in the eye. But now I cannot do I am more careful of what I say or do because well, there's the so called Emotional Quotient hehe

AngelMD-No-More said...

sngl: i guess he jaz fell asleep...why not try wake him up?hehe

verns: korek gid! i really dont know why as we grow older in age and reason we tend to be more cautious with our feelings. i hope adult life is as simple as that of the kid's.hehe

Meyms said...

Ako ya natam-an ka bonding sa child within me hehehe!

AngelMD-No-More said...

haha the reason why u luk young for ur biological age...hehe positive people never grow old...korek?