Friday, December 09, 2005

Time Warped

Just tonight, while walking home, i felt the cold breeze blowing towards my cheeks. I have this unusual intolerance to cold that i felt chilly all over. I then remembered one thing - i forgot to bring my jacket. Am i suppose to remember first that it's already December and that it's quite cold already at this time of the year? Can those people i saw the other night, sleeping on the sidewalks, distinguish December from the other months of the year? They feel cold almost every night.

As i entered the gate and saw those lights hanging at the beam, i remembered one thing - Goodness! i forgot to buy a bulb for my room. There's only one that remained functional out of the four. Am i suppose to remember first that it's already December and that it's this time of the year when houses get brighter at night because of christmas lights? Nope! I didnt have this thought first. The city's darker now compared to the previous years and there are only a few houses who have christmas lights on. Can those people without electricity distinguish December from the other months of the year? Their places' always dark each night.

As i reached the front door and saw the garland covering the wooden beam complete with angels and lights, i remembered one thing - where have my angel collections gone? I remembered placing my angel stuffs in a box before i left Cavite for home and i almost forgot where i placed it. Am i supposed to remember first that Christmas is near and that decorations are all over town? Nope! I didnt think about this. Do my brethen who dont have houses distinguish Christmas from the other time of the year?

When i reached inside, i saw our helper wrapping gifts. My mom asked her to wrap the gifts she's going to give out during her group's Christmas party. I remembered i havent started on my gift list yet. I havent bought a thing yet, for a loved or for a friend, as a Christmas present. I was thinking that it was just October the other night. I'm time warped! It seemed as if i slept the other night in October only to wake up the next day already in December!

Tsk, tsk, am i too absorbed with work that i couldnt feel the season? Am just rationalizing now for i havent bought any gift yet? Thinking it over, I'm just too absorbed living with today alone - seizing everything that the day could offer. I am not thinking about tomorrow any longer. Any good that i could do, any misunderstandings that i had, any feelings that's left unexpressed, any hurt that's left hidden, i dont want them to wait for tomorrow. Seeing some of our brothers sleeping on the streets, witnessing how penniless my patients are and seeing almost everyday how death is inevitable, i couldnt help but live my day to the fullest, not forgetting to thank the Big Guy upstairs for all the blessings i'm not worthy receiving. Now, this i remember always.

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