Monday, December 19, 2005

Life Plan

Was it just due to my on-call status (that i had enough sleep) or was it because i was quite interested in the homily tonight that i was awake all the time during the mass? Well, it could be both. If i lacked sleep, then i might not be able to grasp the homily clearly and be interested in it and therefore be awake the whole time during the mass.

The priest's homily was basically about what you call our "Life Plan." I do have a plan of my own. When i started earning my own bucks, i too started to plan my future (and this was just a few months ago, for the record). As a summary, here it goes:

1. For the next 3 years, i really dont have other plans aside from finishing my residency training. This is what i prioritize for now. Lovelife? Hmmm, is it equivocal with my career? If it is, then they can't go together. Unless of course someone will sweep me off my feet that i would put my career goal at the backseat. I still would make compromises though. If i could, then they can both occupy the frontseat. I'm an expert on multi-tasking anyway.hehe

2. At age 30, that will be 3 years from now, i will be done with residency training. I plan to proceed to subspecialization: either neurology or gastroenterology or rheumatology maybe. I still am in search of a subspec that doesnt have emergency calls and a subspec that's not that toxic. Boy, i just cant afford living a toxic life - from clerkship to specialization. I plan to go abroad and specialize there. Where? US or Australia, any place where my fate would lead me. It is also during this time when i could live on own - independently! Yipee!!!

This is also the time that the ultimatum i gave to myself will due. The time that i'll be in a crossroad. The time of discernment whether to really take the road of single-blessednes (finally) or cursed-marriage. Ooops, i dont mean to be biased here. Alright, remove the word "curse". If i get to meet my frog prince during this time, then proceed to plan # 3.

3. At age 32, it's either we'll live happily together - if he turns to a prince or i'll officially sign up with the "Spinsters' Club" if he remains to be the ol' ugly toad. Granting that my frog prince turns into a prince after a yucky kiss, then proceed to plan #4. If i decide to join my predecessors though, in the "Spinsters' Club", then proceed to plan #5.

4. I plan to get married in a church of course preferrably in the afternoon with the sunset welcoming us after the ceremony. Woohooot! Too detailed. I need not mention the entourage, the location and the reception (i dont even have an idea of my groom). Basically, I'll get married (or my parents will disown me if i wont), have a family and raise kids (2 kids the most), live in a house (better if along the beach) and continue with my career as an internist.

5. I'll sign up in the Spinsters' Club. As an official member, i will busy myself with my career, train up to the sub-sub-sub-specialization if there are any. Support my neices and nephews (too typical for a spinster aunt, eh). Live in my own house (still along the beach), go travelling to places, buy every techie stuff i wanted and become the coolest, most updated techie-doctor-spinster-geek of my generation. I vowed to grow old gracefully and promised myself not to be grouchy and grumpy (the way we look at single-independent women). My goal for this time is to remove the society's stigma on spinsters. It's like: "We aint need men and being single is cool!"

This is the longest timeline i could think as of now. Whether i'll die young or old, i do not know. I am planning to be cremated though. I dont want maggots, bacteria and other decomposers to feast on me. One other thing, i dread the fact that i'll smell the way dead bodies do. I also plan not to let my family or loved ones see my dead body. In such way, they'll only remember the living me. I believe that what most people remember is the other person's image during their last meeting. I dont want to be remembered looking like a corpse.

So, did i forget anything?

I planned everything that i wanted but i forgot the basic fact. I forgot that there's a Great Architect out there who does the planning. I might have plans for my own life but it's still the Great Architect's call. This was the essence of the homily today. The mystery of my Life Plan that remains to be unrevealed to me is also what makes life exciting for me.

I did plan some things for my life when i was still in school. I was planning to take up Pediatrics or Community Medicine as a specialization yet i ended up taking Internal Medicine. There were a lot of twists and turns and im sure there will be more to come in the future. These twists might make my life plan complicated. One thing's for sure though, every twist turns out for my own good. I guess all i've got to do is to offer these plans to the Great Architect, sit-back, relax, live life to the fullest and let Him do the final Blueprint.

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