Sunday, December 04, 2005

Can't Wait to be Thirty

I really don’t know why I’m feeling this way. Other people are too conscious about their age and about their birthdays. Yet, here I am, too excited that I’ll soon reach 30. I have been feeling this way eversince I was in gradeschool. I was too excited to grow older. Maybe I was comforting myself that as I grow old, so too will my height be. Now that I realized that I have no more hope but to grow sideways, I still am the same little girl who embraces another additional year for her age.

I can’t wait to be 30. No matter how toxic I am with my current training, I still have time planning for my future. I have decided that at this age, I will leave home, start spreading my own wings and live independently on my own. Geez, 30 actually is already for the late bloomers. In our Philippine scenario however, a lot of us wouldn’t leave home. Yep! Even if they already have a family of their own. Tsk, tsk, speaking of extended families.

I was 21 back then when I first left home for medical school. Though it was hard at first to be away from home, I have this innate talent to cope with whatever situation or circumstance I am in. I couldn’t remember a time that I cried because of homesickness. Could be the fact that I already programmed myself for studying and not for wallowing in homesickness. I loved the feeling of being independent. You know, cooking you own food, designing your own room, to the point of scrubbing your own toilet bowl especially during exam weeks that reading your books would make you insane.

Saving for that time that I’m going to launch my independence, here are a few things I could never leave without. My savings aren’t enough yet that I consider this as a wish list in case anyone who gets to read this cares enough for me, he/she could send me anything from the list as a Christmas gift....hehe

1. Laptop – well, this tops my list. Forget the stove, there are a lot of fastfood restaurants in town, but I couldn’t leave without this device. Blogs, reports, journals, games, internet, they are vital and part of my existence. Unfortunately, the money I’ve been saving for this one went to another project. I have a pc at home, but you couldn't bring this one to bed can you?

2. Queen-size bed – too impractical for someone who will be occupying a one-bedroom apartment or pad. Nevertheless, I love to sleep and I must admit that I love having a lot of pillows around me when I sleep. As of the last count, I have at least five pillows, the body pillow not included, in my bed. If I will be buying a bed fit for just one person, how can I let all my pillows fit? By the way, in case I don't have a laptop yet, maybe I could bring the pc to bed with me.

3. CD Player, Radio, iPod (anyone?) or any gadget that could produce music – I sleep with the radio on. I start the day with music filling my room. When I am not in a good mood, music lifts my spirit up, drowns my tears and speaks to my soul.

4. Palm top – Already have one but I still need an SD card to expand its data storage capacity. I just love techie stuffs. Some of my files, palm version of my reference materials at work are all inside this gadget. When quite bored, games in this gadget are enough to entertain me. In case also that I don't have the player yet, I'll just contend myself with the mp3s I have in my palm.

5. Personal refrigerator – I need this for my leftovers.

6. Microwave oven – I need this to reheat my leftovers...hehe

7. Television - I am not much into watching tv nor into watching movies at home (I still prefer watching movies in bigscreens). I just needed this thing to update me on our dying governance and economy. At the same time, I might need to hear other voices aside from myself.

Well, this is all for now. I might need a car. Will wish to have it as soon as I pass my driving lessons and as soon as I am secured that my temper will not push me to press hard on the accelerator.

Ooops, one last thing, preferably, I want a place near a church. In this case, I will be able to sleep a little longer during Sundays for the church is just a stone-throw away. I also need the solace of being alone in a church sometimes. You know, to check on my morality and spirituality. When you expose yourself in a “jungle”, sometimes, you have this tendency to forget that you are human. To be able to meet my other half in that church is a minor reason for now. Who knows, this might be the major reason when I reach 30?

In three years time I could visualize freedom. In three years time I could see surreal independence. Well, you might ask why I didn’t start living independently at this time? I already have a job, enjoying my own salary, and could buy things I want for my self without asking a penny from my parents. Fact is, I’m saving for that time - saving money for my dream gadgets, and saving my energy for cleaning my future toilet bowl.

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