Tuesday, April 24, 2007
A Business Proposal
I have a business proposal.
Working here in this crap hospital isnt just tiring. Aside from our delayed salary, numerous admissions, toxic patients and folks, i too have to adjust to different personalities. From the patients to their folks, to the nurse and helpers, to a colleague, a superior, to the hospital administrators, these are the people i have to deal with everyday. Good thing if these people have had a good childhood but majority of them i guess didnt have one. In short, my toxic life in this institution becomes all the more toxic and consuming because of them. I really dont mind going on 24 hours duty even if it's every other day. Not even the toxic admissions, both in quantity and quality. Physically, i still could sustain them. What really consumes me are the negative people that surround me. They really are energy sucking creatures who have the capacity to leave you limp like a veggie.
This is the impetus of my business proposal. I know that this will not just give me an additional source of income just so to augment my always delayed salary. With this proposal, i believe that i could help make this world a better place to live in - speaking of civic responsibility, eh.
I have no units in business nor am i well-versed with business proceedings. I shall present my proposal the "best-est" way possible, from a physician's point of view.
Nopes! Not a typographical error. Yep! I'll be selling ATTENTION (a-ten-sh'n). Otherwise defined as notice or interest, better yet, appropriate treatment. I grew up with an analytical mind. Not in a mathematical way of analysis (i hate math!). Analytical in a way that i tend to analyze why a certain thing or person acts in a way. In short, when someone tends to piss me off, my mind automatically analyzes the action and the person. Why is he behaving like an a--hole? Why is she such a b*tch? When you tend to share with a piece of my mind, then it only meant one thing - after all my analyzations, i have all the reasons to snap out on you.
I began to hypothesize that those people who are difficult to deal with and those people who really get into my nerves are lacking of one thing - ATTENTION. These are the people who i guess grew up to be neglected children. If they arent, then maybe they simply were lacking in attention, were attention-seekers or worse, gifted with an attention deficit disorder. If they were showered with such when they were growing up, then they wouldnt tend to draw all attention unto themselves as adults. In whatever way possible, if they were deprived of attention as a child, they will try to shift the limelight unto themselves. They may grow up as egoistic, self-absorbed, or power-tripper kind. This brings me then to the target population of my product.
Government employees specifically:
a. hospital administrators who are too preoccupied with "throne-grabbing", experts in mudslinging and corruption - they shall avail a 50% discount off from my product if they are eligible and i could even give it to them for free if they would admit that they are guilty of either of the aforementioned traits.
b. doctors/nurses/employees who are loud, irrational, unjust, immature, insecure and inefficient. Discounts shall be given depending on their salary grade. Again, the product will be given for free if they admit guilt for either of the above-mentioned characteristic.
c. politicans who have the "Star-complex", are "incoming corruptibles", who are experts in giving promises with subspecializations in breaking them. No discounts shall be given unless they already are in the position and are currently keeping a fraction of our national budget in their personal bank accounts. For the latter, this product shall also be given for free.
HOW AM I GOING TO SELL THE PRODUCT?
I shall sell the product in two ways depending on the client's personality. If he has some trace of autism or those who are comfortable being alone, i shall offer it in a small room. Its walls are all lined with mirror. Mirrors that only reflect the goodness in one's person. Yep! I believe that there's something good in everyone. Hell yeah! Even if he's as calloused and as unethical as someone i know (tee-hee!). He'll be seeing himself, all good and perfect until his eyes pop out. All his imperfections shall be hidden from him. Everyday, someone, an authority figure, his parent or child, spouse or special someone, shall talk with him, feeding him with all the positive words he'll expect to hear until his ears bleed to death. His every action shall be noticed even the way he picks his nose.
As for those with star complex, I shall sell my product in a bigger venue. A football field, a concert hall or a coliseum. I need to fill it with people with my client standing at the center with all the lights focused on him until he scorches to death. I will let him talk to the crowd and allow him to pour his heart out. Praise himself, divulge his assets, brag his achievements, yadda, yadda, yadda. The crowd on the other hand shall do nothing but to clap and praise him complete with wooohooots and hurrays! The catch, aside from the microphone he's holding, he shall wear a pair of earphones amplifying the sound of the crowd until his eardrums would give up and get broken.
In such way, who the hell shall be wanting for more attention?
My business shall have its boom upon its introduction. All people from all walks of life shall try his or her best to acquire my product. Parents who couldnt give enough attention to their children shall purchase it to cover up for their deficiencies. Governments shall buy my franchise for its employees and schools shall buy some rights to include this in their curriculum.
I could see my business falling off however after a few years or even months. The time when people would realize how difficult it is to draw too much attention to one's self. When people would feel so uncomfortable having all the attention to themselves. When people would realize how good it is to work unnoticed and on how gratifying it is to be recognized for an extra mile he's extended. In fact, some would even get even by giving attention to others. In such way, noone shall be wanting.
My business shall then close but then again, i already gained profit from it and i have made this world a better place to live in.