Sunday, April 02, 2006
Another miracle again happened in the mass tonight. A miracle that in a Sunday mass at a from-duty status, i didnt fall asleep. Was it just because the priest left his pulpit and stood almost right in front of me? Maybe i was way too conscious to do some "headbanging" again during mass for someone who knows me from the backseats might see me. Seriously, the homily today just got me. I was all ears during the homily and almost released my tear dams during communion. Tsk..tsk...recollection songs like "Lead Me Lord" really would touch my heart.
Yep, i did find my purpose in this hospital i am in. I could remember however those times when i found all my efforts so futile. I was in the verge of depression thinking that the things i was doing were nothing. The homily tonight however affirmed one thing. I just have to keep on going. Finish what i have started. The little kindness that i was doing wasnt just nothing. It could be likened to the tiny drop of water creating a ripple in the ocean.
I am not planning to deliver a homily here. What im just trying to say is that, in times when i needed strength, the Great Architect knows how to send me some. He always seem to tell me to continue being a tiny drop in this vast ocean i am in. Even a minute drop of water could create a ripple, disturbing the calmness of the water.
The little kindness that i could give to single patient of mine might not be of value to me. Little did i know that this little kindness could go a long way - the ripple effect as the priest would describe it. For my 28th birthday, i know that i have not done great things. I still am the ordinary yet toxic resident doctor in a government institution. I still am the girl who have pms and tantrums from time to time. I still am the sleepy housemate. I still am the both stubborn and obedient daughter. I still am the elder sis who's both strict and crazy. Still the old friend but now forgets birthdays (ooops). I still havent started world domination. Not even started to create my own memorial foundation. All i know is that at least, my little act of kindness is a big gift to someone needing it best. My little goal for my 28th year? To continue extending this little kindness even to one person, everyday. I know this wouldnt just make someone happy. I know that i would be pleasing best that Someone i owe the whole 28 years im enjoying.