PMS Overdrive

Exactly 19 days from now, I'll be facing another challenge in my medical career. The specialty boards is giving me this big pressure...bigger than the one I felt during the medical board exam. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. Expectations from a lot of people maybe? I'm reviewing a sample board question and boy! I didn't expect some of the questions to be very specific. I feel so inadequate and unprepared now. Two volumes of Harrison's is just too much to handle if I feed my teenie weenie brain with all the data and information that I can get from it. I'm afraid I might die of indigestion!

I know it! This is once again another PMS attack. Labile emotions, senti moments, active tear glands, minus the irritability, for the month of January. You see, I've been seated on this bed for weeks now with good ol' Harrison in front of me. The only contact I have with my immediate outside world is when I join the family for meals. Other means would be the cellphone beside me and of course, the blogosphere and the cyberworld when sleepiness overpowers me. Therefore, I have a great time of my life being in touch with my emotions. Imagine me wiping off some tears while watching a supposed to be romantic-comedy this afternoon. Inappropriate affect? Ugh!

All the anxieties, all the fears, all the pressures, plus my PMS attack, they're enough to open my tear dams. So spare this cry-baby for now. I'm just drawing some strength from my inner child. This is a personal battle I believe. Mom feels so sorry that she can't be of help to me. Prayers is all that she could offer and I do need it most. Morphine too feels helpless. I hope he can make it here during his break. His presence is more than enough to give me strength. Comforting myself, I saw this whiteboard right beside my bed. Written five years ago during my med school days, I cried even more after reading what I wrote. After that crying bout though, I felt so relieved from whatever it is that brings heaviness to my heart. I began to reminisce those times when I was so down and I wrote this. I was also very anxious if I could really make it through medical school that time.


Fast forward five years to the present, I'm done with residency training. I made it through medical school and the medical boards and I made it through residency training. So for the specialty boards, I expect for all good things...I have to expect for all good things. Yep! This too shall pass! This PMS too shall be over...soon! Big Dad loves this cry-baby more than I do. I have to remember.

Oh, this needs a chocolate fix. There's that big bar of Hershey's in the ref downstairs! Yahoo!