Showing posts with label crap hospital. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crap hospital. Show all posts

Friday, February 23, 2007

Sooo Phony Too


What the hell's wrong with this crap hospital? Hmmm, almost everything? My latest post was an expression on how i abhor phony people. It was also an expression on how i sympathize with our patients. Yep! For being exploited.

Recently, my tolerance level to "phonicity" (if there is such a word in the dictionary), was once again tested. Our patients at the OPD were chosen as beneficiaries of food supplements by a civic group. I am not against any civic groups or organization. It's just that i couldnt take those photo ops. The patients benefit from those donations but to pose in front of the camera and let other people know that you have helped somebody is just like a bitter pill for me to swallow. Isnt it enough that you have made one life a bit better by your help? Isnt it enough that you've heard those thank you's and you felt appreciation from them?

I really wanted to puke witnessing the group having their pictures taken with our patients. One of them even commented to have the picturetaking inside the airconditioned room for it was humid outside. She was right. If they stayed a little longer at the receiving area, they could have melted in their makeups and their "unmovable" hair do's might be windblown. What's even funny was that they didnt even distribute the donations to the patients. After the picture taking, they immediately left. Too bad, it could have been better if they had their pictures taken while giving out those donations. These shots would surely pass the Philippines' phoniest pictures.

I was starting to swallow something that regurgitates inside my mouth. Forgot to inject myself with an anti-emetic before i met them. Gaaaad! Why do they have to do that? For documentation purposes? So why not take pictures of just the beneficiaries instead? Oooops, im sorry, i just dont love to pose in front of the camera. In short, i couldnt require other people not to pose in front of the camera too.

Before they left, the group invited us to join them. "We're all women," according to one of them. I managed to put on my not so sincere smile. In my mind, "Oh ma'am, my pleasure. I'll be joining your group once i'll be immune to all of these. Two more years in this crap hospital and i might be able to stomach all these phoniness." In summary, what i'm just trying to say is that..."Come on! It's the 3rd millineum, Pharisees were already outdated!"

Monday, February 19, 2007

Soooo Phony

This morning we filled the wards again to the alleys. We had just 16 admissions but we already have a can-of-sardine-like ward set-up. You barely can recognize a patient from his/her folks for most of them are seated or lying in one bed...or cardboard box. You barely can identify a nurse or a doctor from the patients' folks for it seems like one patient would have a barangay of visitors.While having our rounds with my junior, i noticed one creature who stood out from the crowd. Taaadaaan! Wearing his signature blue barong, he was interviewing a patient lying at the alley. Wooohooot! The one seated on the throne...the one who head this crap hospital came down from his comfort zone and interacted with a patient at the wards! What the hell's going on? I was thinking maybe i could be just dreaming. You know, i'm from duty and i couldnt help but be out of my consciousness, visiting dreamworld from time to time.

No, but no. I was wide awake. My junior and I looked at each other as if talking in the same wavelength. Suddenly, a blinding light shone upon our eyes. Could this be transfiguration? Crap! A camera lens faces our direction. Oh well, kaya pala! Phooooooony! He came down from his throne to meet the patients lying at the alley...to be documented. I wanted to puke!
I dont know the reason behind those video takes. I dont even know what his motive was. I just would like to appeal to his senses. Chief, oh chief, i just hope you're not using our patients again for your own advantage. These people have nothing left, not even their dignity. Why do you have to use them? If you're showing what your work as an administrator is, better stay in your own office. Even if you're acting in front of that camera that you are interacting with our patients, you cant deny that that camera too could see your deficiencies. No beds, crowded, filthy ward, dilapidated infrastructure, harassed ambubags, empty emergency cart...these are supposed to be what you must be concerned about. Taking care of the patients is our primary concern as attending physicians. Taking care of the needs of the hospital and its people is what your job order requires. So why act in front of the camera and show what you arent expected to do?

Holy crap! I couldnt just imagine how i could stand these phony people around me. I feel for these patients of mine. Well, well, i just have to console myself that anyway, it is us who interact with our patients everyday. Sincere to serve. Unselfish with our motives. One more self-praise and i'll be sounding soooo phony too. Anyhow, what im just trying to drive at is that we are the ones who interact with the patients and we are the ones who are constantly scrutinized because of the deficiencies of the superior beings above us.

But life's like this...who said it's fair?

Friday, February 02, 2007

The Fellowship of the Phonies



Call me a rebel, but a renegade would sound better. Maybe i also have a problem with authority figures. When someone older than i am acts in a way that he doesnt deserve my respect, then he definitely will not gain it. I may be submissive but i would be expressing my "rebellion" in a different way.

Today, i attended a meeting of the phonies. People who sound like they are thinking of the majority's greater good. People who acted optimistic but with questionable ulterior motives. Now that's from where this title of this post came from. For you see, i work in an institution that's full of phony people and this morning, they were all crowded in one place. If not for my two bosses, i could have contacted terrorist bombers to drop a bomb in the area. If these people were eliminated, then our place would be a very peaceful place to work in.

Why the hell must we plan for another building when in fact there are still a lot of unfinished projects that are now museums of mosses and weeds. Why the heck must we plan for a bigger building when what we need are work force? Who the hell shall make rounds in this 5-storey building when there are not a lot of plantilla items for residents? Or shall we say even items for new nurses? Hello there phony people...noone can live on volunteerism alone. People now work for bread for the spirit of volunteerism definitely will not sustain them...unless they would like to end up as spirits.

A bomb exploding in the meeting area was the best thing that i could think of. I was thinking that this would also wake, those dreaming creatures who are having a meeting, up. The explosion might bring them back to reality. The renegade in me wanted to really speak out this morning. I still remember my parents' reminder though. Respect your elders. Yep! Even if you feel that they are wrong. Alright, alright, i am an obedient daughter and my parents deserve my respect. I left the meeting place, excusing myself that i still have to make rounds. Leaving the area was my way of withdrawing myself from the stimulus that inflicted me pain and that was a wise idea. Not being able to speak out by the way didnt mean that those phony people gained my respect. I am just an obedient daughter.

Friday, December 15, 2006

There's Always a Reason to Smile

Just came home from the hospital. Was working overtime for the activity tomorrow. I must admit that i am soooooooo damn tired and sleepless. Will definitely be sleeping early in the morning later when everyone else's about to wake up already. Tired, sleepless, beginning to experience again my pms, i am currently in chaotic mode with the grumpy and irritable side of me dominating my senses. Smiling's quite expensive as of this time or maybe, im just too tired too to smile.

There's always a reason to smile though. What i witnessed tonight definitely made me feel better. I was standing at the ER exit waiting for my brother. I love to sit and be with the patients' folks outside of the ER. I love the feeling of being an "ordinary" citizen.

Tonight, two ambulance drivers made me smile. Nah! I did not have a direct interaction with them. I was just a mere observer.

Ambulance driver #1: He was dressed in an army's clothing. He wasnt the "official" driver actually. An army officer who brought a pregnant patient who's about to give birth. After his patient and her folks have gone down from the ambulance, one of the patient's companions gave him a hundred peso bill. The driver politely refused the offer. He even added,"Gamita nyo lang. Mas kilanlan nyo na."

Ambulance driver #2: This one brought a pediatric patient. The patient's mother asked him if he has 50 pesos that she could borrow. She was drained and has no money left. Without hesitation, he took a hundred peso bill from his wallet and gave it to her.

Small acts of kindness of two strangers. Enough to make me smile to myself. Enough to lift my dampened spirit. Enough to energize my tired body. These people continually remind me that the goodness of the human heart is innate. That there are still a lot of good people around. That the kindness and goodness in this crap hospital where i work are enough to balance my toxicity and disappointments.

Life is really beautiful. It takes just a little sensitivity and a little time to witness how beautiful it is. Realizing this is enough to make me smile no matter how bad my day was.