Friday, November 10, 2006
The Final Blow
For the first time, i retreated from my problems. Not that i am afraid to face them. I withdrew in order to regain some strength to face them again head on. All along, ive been whining in this blog on how burnt out i am. Pressures from everywhere were evident. I could take them no longer. I wanted a rebreather. I wanted a break from all the monotonies and pressures that life offered. All these happened last night.
It was my father's birthday and he was holding a dinner at home. Autistic that i am, i am not comfortable with socializing with other people. Added to that was the emotional turmoil that i was going through. Should i go home, i'll be facing people and will definitely interact with them. It would be improper for me if i'll lock myself up in my room while there are visitors around. I'll definitely not gain a peace of mind until my next duty that is today.
To make the long story short, i didnt go home after work. I went to a parlor. I had my nails done and at the same time planned on my next stop. It was around 7pm and i couldnt think of a place to spend the rest of my time, just enough after all the visitors at the dinner have went home. I remembered that a co-resident gave me a gift certificate in a spa. The last body spa i had was when i was in Cebu last month. Good thing that they're open until 1am.
I'm not used to travelling in a puj in Bacolod at night...alone, but i felt no fear walking along the dark sidewalks to my ride. I went to the said spa and to my surprise, the people there know me. They were relatives of the patients i had before. I felt comfort in their company despite the fact that it was my first time to be in that spa. After i was done with my whole body spa, it was yet early to go home. I had a facial after it.hehe I went home around 11pm, took a cab, didnt ask my brother to fetch me.
The experience was different! I felt light after it. I felt surreal independence. I was alone by myself and i managed to realign my goals, to troubleshoot my concerns. Today, i'm once again on duty. The heaviness that i feel is no longer there. The pressure that keeps me small and weak started to dissipate. With this i conclude that after all the emotional turmoil that i went through for the past week, my PRE-MENSTRUAL SYNDROME will soon be over!