Monday, April 18, 2011


I have been feeling uninspired and idle for a month now. Truly when you oversleep you tend to be more tired and sleepy the whole day. This has been happening after my fellowship training ended. I just couldn't get myself to move and do something productive with my life other than sleeping. Yep! I sleep over my books and with the speed that I am running, I don't think that I will be able to finish all the topics that I need to read upon for my exam.

With this, I forced myself to attend our department's weekly conference so that I could force myself to study. I forced myself to hold clinics everyday in the afternoon so that I could earn some bucks and therefore get rid of the title professional bum. The universe must have cooperated too that I was bombarded with referrals from the residents in the government hospital I am affiliated in. In short, I was forced to make rounds with them in order for me to see the patients they're referring. I was saying "force" for if I would only let my idle self decide, I would choose to stay in my room and spend the whole day reading...errr sleeping actually.

Just when I needed the inspiration to get moving, thanks to my other favorite hobby, channel surfing for I came across the show Bottomline last night. Its guest was Fatima Soriano, an 18-year old, blind, Marian devotee. This girl has all the energy that I longed to have. She was so bubbly, full of inspiration, full of zest for life. Looking at myself, here I am, strong and able yet very lazy to use my God-given faculties. A slap in the face that was. The kind of slap that rises one from slumber though. Not those telenovela type that provokes you to slap back.hehe A slap in the face, a pinch in the heart, I couldn't explain what I felt but I knew that this girl made me cry.

Where in the world was she getting that energy, that kind of zest for life, that kind of faith? I was like her when I was younger. People close to me call me their angel. I'm serious. I was even recruited by the nuns in my highschool to join their congregation.wahaha What happened to that young, energetic and full of faith girl then? Did she turn into a pathetic doctor whose life seems suspended in mid-air? A doctor who grew horns and tail instead of halo and wings? Is that what I have become after all those trainings, hardships and challenges I went through in achieving my dream?

After finishing my last leg of training, my life landed on a plateau that not even my upcoming diplomate exam would scare me and force me to study. Shame on me. Shame on me for it took a blind girl for me to wake up from my long slumber. I have a short life to live. Eventhough I have reached that dream of mine, I know that my career as a health care provider is just starting. My life does not end here. I know that I need not waste my time in bed for when I'm dead, I'll surely be sleeping forever. Thank you Fatima for the inspiration. Thank you to the Big Guy Upstairs for sending angels to inspire me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bucket list to finish.=)


Walking on Water said...

Sometimes, we need to be jumpstarted to overcome our inertia. Don't worry cel, you'll be fine. God bless sa boards!

AngelMD-No-More said...

@dra wow: thanks jean! i do need to jumpstart in now na!=)