The Chamber of Secrets

I've been away from the blogosphere for quite some time. The reason is that i dont have enough trash to empty here. So a friend of mine suggested that i post something about my so-called LOVELIFE. Hmmm, is it edible?hehe Anyways, im a very private person (read: autistic). In short, i dont usually talk about this lovelife thingie. Anyways, here's a new year post as requested by you-know-who-you-are.hehe

To start with, this post might have something to do with my lovelife so im warning you this early that it might take you eons of years before you could understand my hieroglyphics. So i guess you'd better watch National Treasure 2 instead of reading this...Go Riley!hehe

Okay, i grew up as a normal kid. When i was younger, hmmm more than a decade ago, i was exposed to a lot of guys. You cant blame me. I was enrolled in a previously all boys school that turned coed when i was in highschool. So if some of you were wondering where all the guys went, then maybe they were in my school. I didnt tell you though that my parents were normal too. In other words, so long as when you're in school, having a boyfriend is a NO-NO. My mom's got a subtle way of telling me this though. It sounded like, im too young to focus my world on only one person should i commit that early. I must enjoy meeting other guys for who knows, i could meet someone better than him. Nevertheless, it still was synonymous to BAWAL ANG BOYFRIEND.

Obedient kid that i was, a smart-aleck too, i deviced something that would help make this condition possible. I created BOY BINS in my mind. Huwaaat? Yep! Boy bins. Im sorry to my dearest guy friends but i did classify you. I had 3 boy bins: the friendship, brotherly and boyfriend bins. Since im currently in the medical profession, i find these bins as outdated that i now call them as chambers. Like the chambers of the human heart. Since there are four chambers in a human heart though, i need to add one. To describe how each chamber functions might take a lot space so in a gist, here's how i categorized my guinea pigs...ooops no pun intended. I mean, the boys i've met.

1. Chamber of Friendship
- here's where most of my peers and classmates belong
- guys i could go out with until my Cinderella time who will drive me home safe
- any relationship that's not fraternal nor romantic ends here
- guys who attempted but failed to enter the boyfriend chamber end here
- they could share me their secret but i cant share mine
- could experience my pms fits and i could hurt them in a way, but since they're my friends, they chose to stay

2. Chamber of Brothers
- a chamber for a chosen few
- those who are protective enough not to let any guy come near me without passing their scrutiny - in other words, my self appointed screening committee
- those who know my weakest and with broad shoulders to offer during my drama takes
- immune to my parents' homing device - meaning mom's secure when im with them even if it's a several days of out of town trip
- the guys that my parents personally know and met
- in short, they too are immune to our guard dog - since they're the ones that i bring home - so our dog's familiar to them
- a sniff dog that i am in the past life, they dont feel awkward when i smell their armpits. Sheesh! when i do this it means that i am very comfortable with the person. If you feel uncomfortable with this, then you're not my brother...hehe Fortunately, those who are in here good smelling ones.
- immune to my pms fits too...a loving sister that i am, i am afraid to hurt them
- the only time that they might get hurt is when they would attempt to get out of the chamber and transfer to the next chamber im going to mention

3. Chamber of Boyfriends
- chamber for the guy of the future
- the chamber that's very difficult to enter - he has to pass by the chamber of brothers first remember?
- he did not just undergo my big brothers' scrutiny but my own scanning device as well - any glitch in the system would mean off to the trash bin...or the recycle bin if he has chances for change
- experienced all my pms fits and survived them
- welcomed by the bitch in me, entertained by my alter ego yet he endured
- prone to experience all the pain and heartaches that i could inflict
- the only one capable though of inflicting me pain too
- currently unoccupied

4. Chamber of Secrets
I built this new chamber recently. As i grow more mature in this so called lovelife thingie, i realized that i couldnt categorize men this easy. There are those who would cross the friendship bin and attempt to enter the boyfriend bin. There are those who are in the boyfriend bin yet are more deserving to be in the brotherly bin. As a result, i was just making things complicated. I tend to hurt others and get hurt too in the process because i hurt them. What did i just say? Sounded like a tongue twister to me.hehe

Little did I know that someone who can act all 3: as my friend, brother and boyfriend, does exist. The reason why this Chamber of Secrets was created. And as a very private person, here ends my story.hehehe

Thankful

Been planning to post a year-end entry early today. Yet my from duty status overpowered me that i have to stay in bed until late in the afternoon. Couldnt make an entry though when i woke up. Our helper's currently on a grand vacation that i have to help in the dinner preparation, especially that i invited a co-resident over. Well, this isnt too late yet i guess. Hmmm, actually, this would be too early for 2008. A supposed to be year-end post is now a welcoming entry.

As i welcome another year, i just cant help but be thankful for everything that has happened in the past year. Aside from the blessings of having a great family, friends and colleagues, I know that i have to be thankful too for the pain and disappointments that ive experienced. For the difficult and complicated people who spiced up my life and made it more challenging - this includes some patients and their folks. For the toxicities that ive experienced in my work - at least im not jobless.

This blog has witnessed all those whinings and rantings. As my emotional trash bin, it accepted everything that i hurl and pour out here. My thank you goes to those who read this blog too. Some of whom ive become friends with. I hope that you dont feel miserable or disheartened after reading my posts.

Another year has started and another journey has begun. There will be disappointments and pain again to experience. Difficult people to meet. Toxicities to get over. There's one thing that's constant in my life though that made these things negligible. Recalling all those good things and blessings that ive received for the past year, i couldnt help but be thankful to the Big Guy upstairs who always keeps His eyes on me. I dont want to sound spiritual here but His love kept me going and will continue to give me the strength for this coming year.

A blessed New Year everyone.