Gone Braver

I have been longing to post this. I made sure though that i am calm and more objective once i do it. It has been three days since this thing happened and i guess im calmer now. Hmmm, i hope.

Three days ago, someone buzzed me about a certain letter. A letter of complaint from the nurses in our ward. A complaint against us - our department. I didnt react until i saw the letter itself. Petty complaints and issues that were already addressed to in the past. Obviously, that letter was made out of their sentiments - not objectively done. Problem however was that they were barking at a wrong tree. They kept on blaming our system when the problem is not about our system but theirs. The problem is about their lack of staffing, their shifting, their superior and themselves.

Alright, i must admit that there's a flaw in our system too. They cannot however just put the blame on our late rounds or even on our inability to sign the prescriptions. Heck! They're too petty compared to their apathy. What really angered me was that the complaint reached the chief of hospital when in fact, we could talk things out in our level. I have a lot of complaints against our ward supervisor and the nurses during my time as the chief resident yet i talked things out with them. Been wanting to file a complaint against them too but i was a bit kind maybe. Even my co residents were tolerant to them. We understood their load. We understood their toxicity. Yet look at what they did. Twenty one nurses signed that letter. We were not aware about the problem when in fact we see each other everyday. Not until we received that letter of course. When i confronted some of them about it, they simply reasoned out that they were thinking that that letter was an attendance sheet? WTF! Do you simply just sign your name on something you didnt read in the first place? Just because everyone else's were signing it, you think it would be safe to sign it too? Where's the so called principle there? Where's the so called bravery there?

There are two things that would really anger me. One is if you lie to me and the other is if you'll betray me. I felt both because of what happened. My anger has subsided now though. The reason why im posting this already. I still cant forget what happened however. For now, I would be contented to let that supervisor know how angered i was by what they did. We had a meeting with the chief of hospital and we wasted our precious time there talking about things that were supposed to be resolved already. I was a bit relieved though after i said my part. The thing that the supervisor and her nurses didnt expect to come from me, from us. I hope that they were enlightened by what they did. Passive, apathetic and selfish that they are, i believe their letter boomeranged to them.

Again, myself surprised me. My voice didnt crack when i was expressing my part during that meeting. Before, i couldnt express myself well when i am angry. I would break my voice or i might not be able to say what's on my mind. Goodness! Have i gone bad really? Our chairman tells us that we have changed all along. We have become more assertive, combative, or whatever. Rationalizing everything, i believe that being able to fight evil doesnt make one bad. Maybe, we didnt become bad after all. We only became braver.